Pestana CR7 Funchal

David Beckham has a fragrance line, Lionel Messi a limited edition Adidas shoe. And Cristiano Ronaldo has a new boutique hotel. It’s a modern five-star hotel perched over the harbor in Funchal, Ronaldo’s hometown on the Portuguese island of Madeira. But let’s break this down further. The Pestana is a Portuguese hotel chain; CR7, of course, refers to the initials and jersey number of the Real Madrid star. So what to expect at a hotel backed by one of the most famous footballers in the world? Astroturf in the hallways and Ronaldo’s old jerseys, signed and framed, like artwork, in glass cases. An outdoor gym with a customized “Get in Shape” program, and a large swimming pool surrounded by rows of chaises — so you can get tanned and toned, Ronaldo-style, obviously.

Forget the fact that even the most famous professional footballers bunk together with their teammates when they’re on the road. The Pestana CR7’s rooms are the fantasy version. They’re meant to feel like a glam, sensuous twist on a locker room, quite literally — closets look like actual lockers, and the color palette of charcoal, silver, and black is dark and masculine. Extra-wide beds, modular sofas, motion-sensitive mood lighting, 48-inch Smart TVs, lighting-quick wi-fi, sleek and spacious bathrooms with rain showers and “selfie-approved” mirrors. Yes, you read that right. And if you’d rather lose yourself in the beautiful game than pose for pictures, the CR7 Suite has a PlayStation 4 with virtual-reality glasses.

The Pestana CR7 has a theme, in other words, and it’s hardly subtle. It’s over-the-top, but fun, especially if you fall into the hotel’s targeted demographic — the so-called millennial traveler. That’s exactly who you’ll find at the CR7 Funchal Lounge, a loft-like industrial space with an open kitchen and bar, and DJ sets after dark, or at Off-Side, the rooftop bar with gorgeous views over the water. Competing with the beauty of the natural landscape, of course, are the images of Ronaldo’s chiseled face and physique that pop up left and right around the hotel. At his signature hotel — the first of four he’s developing with the Pestana brand — less is not more. More Ronaldo is always more.