citizenM Schiphol Airport

The idea of the airport hotel has certainly changed. Of course it needed to: just the phrase “airport hotel” has become a sort of punchline, a phrase we use to describe the worst kind of hotel. But CitizenM has its own Facebook page. The other airport hotels just want you to check out on time, without stealing anything. This one would like you to be its friend.

It would be hard not to. From the outside at first it’s not much to look at, until you see that the perfect grid of square windows is slightly wonky, like a child’s blocks. Each one is a pre-fabricated unit, slotted into the structure, and one can’t help but be grateful that they’re good old-fashioned glass and concrete, and not steel shipping containers.

Inside they’re well-equipped, and all absolutely identical. The idea is “affordable luxury for the people,” and it seems the people agree on device-friendly smart TVs, complimentary movies, rain showers, and futuristic glass-walled bathroom pods. They also agree, crucially, on the importance of extra-large king-sized beds — many of the people are Dutch, after all. In-room iPads control just about every room function, friendlier versions of the touchscreen master control panel you see in high-end Asian luxury hotels.

A stylish canteen serves diverse fare 24 hours a day, and a twenty-minute train ride gets you into central Amsterdam, whose canal-house charm feels like a different world to the modern-utopian CitizenM. And if you’re coming back for a repeat stay, hang on to that room key. Not only will it speed the semi-automated check-in process, but it’ll also store your mood pad settings — here computers make the whole experience that much more personal, if that’s not too strange a thing to say.